Coffee breathes life in to conversation.

In Japan people will pay exorbitant prices to have you talk to them in English, in stuffy little glass cubicles, in forty minute fixes. When the venue for formal study of language school chain is gone, they will have you around for coffee.

I love coffee and it isn't very hard to convince me to have another cup. So when three of my former students wanted to make it a regular Thursday morning event I just couldn't refuse.

The pretence of course, is a lesson in daily conversation, although they the mostly speak to each other in Japanese. I'm quite happy to let them wander off on tangents, as long as they afford me the illusion of teaching them something from time to time. It's a wonderful arrangement.

I may be preaching to the converted here, but I believe coffee contributes in many untold ways to the art of conversation. Let's see how you can apply the same principles you do when enjoying a cup of coffee, to the art of conversation.

The ritual of coffee.
When you set time aside for the preparation of a fine cup of coffee, you are creating a buffer between yourself and he outside world. Which ever way you prefer to brew your coffee, your attention to the details of your chosen method allow you to focus your thoughts on a single point, the perfect cup of coffee. Elusive as it may be, this ideal is essential for perfecting your art.

So too with the art of conversation. When you give your time to someone, give them your full attention. Let them know you are listening, and that nothing will intrude into the space you have created for them. Allow time for the conversation to develop at it's own pace. Respect the conversation as if it were something in it's own right, more than the sum of it's parts. Not just a speaker and a listener, but equal participants in piece of performance art.

The space between sips.

Last week our host served coffee in these eccentric cups and saucers, each one unique. As we admired their quality and craftsmanship a little more breathing space came into the conversation. Although the cups were small, we were in no hurry to put them down.
 
Some people are more comfortable with silence than others. When it does happen don't be afraid to sit back and just observe the space it creates. When you're not the first to talk, you might hear something genuinely refreshing.

The caffeine conclusion.
A small amount of the stimulant caffeine should leave you with a buzz, bringing you to the business end of conversation. You may feel able to express yourself more freely, but don't over do it.

Having the courage to speak your mind is accompanied by the responsibility to be receptive to the opinions of others. If you can strike the right balance, while learning to express yourself positively and in a non-threatening way, then you will win the respect and admiration of your peers.

Now, I wonder how I can translate that same coffee aesthetic in to one that generates conversation on this blog? How does coffee work for you socially? What is it about the ritual that has a lubricating effect on conversation for you? I would be happy to hear your thoughts over a cup or two.